So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
