when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
