R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
