hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think i have two assholes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
