He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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