Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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