My brain says no but my pants say off.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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