do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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