I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need to calm my uterus...
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