I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize