u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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