Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
