i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
