'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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