I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
