and next time when you feel me up, do it right
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize