im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
