i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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