i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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