Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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