Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
