Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
