Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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