The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
