All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
this hospital has no fireball
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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