she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
