My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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