We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
