please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
