Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
As shirtless as possible
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
