I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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