Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
