Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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