He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
