i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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