Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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