Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize