I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
