i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
