Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
