it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
