Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
