Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
