dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Houston, we have a squirter
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
