But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
