I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just want to make out with him forever
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
