She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
