these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
