I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
