So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
this is an emotional support booty call
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
