Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
