Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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