she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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