so that wasnt chicken after all
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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