You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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