Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
