I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
