"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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