it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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